As the child of Italian immigrants, I learned to cook, sew, garden, swear colorfully in Italian, forage for food, and keep pushing ahead. One thing I did not learn was to swim. My father said he learned to swim in the Ohio River in the 1920s, so he saw no need to spend money on swim lessons. My mom couldn’t swim a stroke, so she didn’t think they were necessary either. After almost going under in Lake Erie when I was a kid and saved by an angry Aunt Blanche, I steered clear of large bodies of water.
I’ve taken swimming lessons several times as an adult but nothing ever stuck. But I wanted to cross swimming off my bucket list, so I decided my goal was to swim the length of the YMCA pool and back.
I started taking lessons in January before my 60th birthday and practiced through July. On the big 6-0, I actually swam across the YMCA’s Olympic size pool and back. Swimming that distance, for me, was like making it to the Olympics. After decades of being embarrassed to go to pool parties because I was the only one who didn’t swim, I was thrilled I’d never have to be embarrassed again.
Afterward I swam occasionally. My YMCA pool friend Esther said she’d meet me in the mornings, but the thought of getting up at 5:30 to be at the pool at 6 so I could be at work at 8:30 was a motivation killer.
But now I’m retired and live in a complex with a nice empty pool which I pay an extra thirty dollars for access to in the summer, so today I took the plunge.
I searched for as burka-like a bathing suit as possible in the Lands End catalog and purchased it. I didn’t sigh as much as I usually do when I put it on, a promising sign. Then, I found my old bathing cap in a bathroom storage box, which I took as an omen. I discovered my goggles hanging with my old swimsuit, and a few nights ago I bought earplugs from Dicks Sporting Goods. It amuses me that I say I want to swim then do everything to avoid actual contact with water.
I got to the pool in the morning. Thankfully no one was there except the Swim at Your Own Risk sign. If I drowned, I can’t say they didn’t warn me. I got in, parked myself in front of a jet stream of nice warm water and felt the pool’s love.
It took ten minutes of talking to myself (which hopefully no passers by noticed) to get up my courage.
Mean Fran: “Do you even friggin’ remember how to swim? It’s been 8 years you know!”
Me: “Of course I do, I did it before, I can still do it.”
Mean Fran: “Riiiight…maybe you should just start with the breathing part”
Me: “God, you’re so mean, but OK, OK!
So, I put my head in, turned to one side and breathed again and again. It was sort of coming back to me. Sitting in the three foot section, Mean Fran softened a little, “OK, just swim to that corner…that’s about three strokes. You should be able to do that!” But I was still hesitant.
Then she said, “Why not start with something you’re actually comfortable doing like swimming on your back?” So I went across the pool on my back, which I learned to do in my college swim class. Dave Ashe, a fabulous friend, college swimmer, and unfortunate helper at Clarion swim classes, had to drag me across the pool by my ponytail, but I finally mastered swimming on my back and not freaking out.
So, I swam on my back across the pool a couple of times and felt pretty good about myself. Then Mean Fran started in on me again,
Mean Fran: “Oh come on. You’re in three feet of water. Swim! What could possibly happen? All you have to do is stand up!”
Me: “But can’t people drown in a teaspoon of water?”
Mean Fran: “Oh grow up and just swim!”
So, I worked up my courage and pushed forward. I actually made it across the width of the pool. Then I came back, and went again. If you didn’t know I’d been arguing with myself for the past 15 minutes, you’d think I actually knew what I was doing.
I did that six more times and felt pretty dang good about myself. I’d spent 15 minutes arguing with myself and 15 minutes swimming, a record I could definitely improve.
No wonder there are so many inspirational sayings about facing your fears. I found these at Marvling Brothers LTD:
“Courage is not the absence of fear, but the triumph over it.”
“Face your fears and doubts, and new worlds will open to you.”
“He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life.”
“Fear defeats more people than any other one thing in the world.”
“Do one thing every day that scares you.”
I’ll go swimming again this week, but with no lifeguard, I’m sticking with the shallow end. Why waste a perfectly good life, momentum, or a bathing suit that fits?
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