I’ve been seeing so much back to school for the past month I thought now would be a good time to pass along advice I think is absolutely necessary in life. I wish I’d gotten this advice when I was starting a semester at school…or life as a working person. I probably wouldn’t have listened (duh) but these are lessons I learned the hard way and am sharing so you can learn them the easy way. (I’m a giver!) These are not necessarily in order of importance, except for the first one. Pass this blog along to your favorite young person with my blessing.
- Always trust your gut.
- Don’t trust what people say, instead watch what they do.
- Be careful not to give or take too often.
- Discuss money openly with your partner.
- Honesty is everything.
- Not all friends are created equal.
- Do your best at work and never leave a job poorly.
- Don’t let life’s disappointment make you bitter.
- Be a good friend and you’ll always have friends.
- Be a person of your word.
- Cut your parents some slack.
- Don’t lump people into the same category because of one person.
- Always trust your gut. There were a few times when I didn’t and wish I would have.
- Don’t trust what people say, instead watch what they do. Whether it’s love or business, someone can say, I love you, and really sound like they mean it, but it’s their actions that show you whether that’s true or not. Just like in business, someone can act like your friend, but when it comes to money, or position, that’s when you see who your friends are and who they aren’t, who you can trust and who you can’t. Be very careful in business when talking with co-workers you don’t know well. Don’t tell them things you don’t want spread. If it happens once, you already know you can’t trust them. Sometimes it takes people a long time to truly show who they are, but often it’s pretty obvious. Pay attention.
- Be careful not to give or take too often. In relationships there are givers and takers. Being a giver does not necessarily make you better than being a taker. Givers eventually get tired of always giving and start to resent takers, but they have no one to blame but themselves.
Sometimes, givers, especially in relationships will give and give and give, and takers learn they can take, and take and take. It only requires a giver who gives too much to turn a taker into someone you resent.
If you are a taker (you know if you are) think about ways you can give to your partner so it’s not always you who is catered to, but try to make it more or less equal. If you’re a giver (you may not realize you are – you just think you’re nice, or easy going) think about yourself for a change. Do what’s comfortable for you sometimes. Ask someone to take care of you for a change. Ask them to cook for you, clean for you, get up early or late to deal with the kids for you, take out the garbage for you, or shovel the snow for you. You deserve to be cared for too, don’t forget that.
4. Discuss money openly with your partner. Whether it’s marriage or business, don’t assume your partner thinks the same way you do about money. Money is the one thing that can tear apart a marriage or a business partnership faster than anything else. Work ethic is another. Take a good look at your partner. Is he or she willing to work as hard as you to make your life or business together work? If not, you may have a problem. Talk about it openly before you go into marriage or business.
5. Honesty is everything. If someone will lie about something small, they’ll lie about anything. You can’t be in a relationship with someone you can’t trust. Period.
6. Not all friends are created equal. If you have a friend who is jealous, of your successes or popularity, that’s not a friend. Friends cheer your successes and help you cope through life’s difficulties. A great friend will always be there for you. My father always said, “Friends are better than money.” He was so right.
7. Do your best at work and never leave a job poorly. Do the best you can at your job and maintain a healthy relationship with the people you’ve worked with. In my life. I’ve gotten only one job without knowing someone. Every other job has been because I knew someone who knew someone and I was trusted enough that I was recommended.
8. Don’t let life’s disappointment make you bitter. You don’t have to forget, but you should realize that forgiving is a gift you give yourself not the other person. It sets you free. The most impressive people are those who’ve suffered hardships, or slights and decided never to do the same to others.
9. Be a good friend and you’ll always have friends. It takes a good friend to have good friends. Be there for people, reach out even if it’s not your turn. Don’t be petty. Life is too short to be mad at someone because of some slight that was probably not even intentional.
10. Be a person of your word. It’s not easy but try to keep your promises. If you say you’ll do something, do it. Sometimes things unintentionally slip through the cracks, which is understandable, but don’t promise things you know you won’t do. As Yoda once famously said, “Do or do not, there is no try.”
11. Cut your parents some slack. OK, maybe they could have done better with you, but remember they were doing the best they could with what they had. Remember, they grew up in different times, and their parents didn’t have all the answers either. Stop blaming them, forgive them and move on.
12 Don’t lump people into the same category because of one person. So, you met someone who was (take your pick of any nationality, religion, or sexual orientation). Just because that one person was not your cup of tea, don’t assume everyone of that nationality, religion, or sexual orientation is the same. They are not and you do a great disservice to yourself and the whole group by assuming they are.
Feel free to connect with any advice you feel is worth adding to the list!
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