I was at work last week, fighting a nasty bout of bronchitis and kept nodding off at my desk. I thought I was being very sly, but someone walked past, noticed and mentioned it to me. He said it looked like I was in deep thought, but I think he was just being kind.
I know what I look like when I’m nodding off and it is definitely neither thoughtful looking nor attractive. I never think I’ll do it, but learned years ago that nothing can stop a determined Tunno sleep gene.
This is what happens in college when you have Tunno sleep genes. Your so-called friends take incriminating photos of you.
When I was in college, I used to go to the library to “study.” There was a large square pillar just past the entrance to the library and there were big cushy chairs on each of the four sides of the pillar. I used to position myself in the chair right in front of the entrance, thinking it was a great place to study. My logic was, I won’t fall asleep, I’ll be too embarrassed to sleep in full view of everyone.
Then I would run into people in the next day or two, who’d say, “Hey, I saw you sleeping in the library yesterday!” So much for my too embarrassed theory. Humiliation can’t compete with a sleep gene honed over generations.
When I was five or six, we used to go to 5 o’clock mass because my dad worked on Sundays. Bernie would have just pulled in from a night out with his friends and my dad would drag us all out of bed to go to church early because if we didn’t go with him, we wouldn’t go, since Mom didn’t drive. I recall standing beside Bernie and looking up at him. He could stand in church, head down looking seemingly pious, and be totally asleep. He’s still able to pull it off. (See below.)
Bernie, in a food coma, after a Christmas Eve meal – still able to pull off the pious look.
My dad, an excellent sleeper, was a puffer, sleeping heavily and blowing a little puff of air into the room. He slept best when the TV was on. As soon as you turned it off, he’d awaken startled, as if a gun had gone off beside his head.
If my mother was still around, she would skin me alive for posting this exhausted shot of her. One of my brothers put the paper on her head.
My mom usually nodded off after cooking and cleaning all day, collapsing in a heap on the couch.
My brothers, my sister and I are afflicted with the ability to doze off anywhere, but are most impressive right after a good heavy meal. I would post a photo of my sister asleep, but if I did, she would fly to California and behead me.
Bob also comatose after a Christmas meal. His son, Patrick orchestrated this Virgin Mary shot.
I now totally understand my mom’s caffeine addiction. One latte will never be enough.
I guess the honeymoon’s over. A job you find yourself nodding off at is a job you’ve now gotten used to. Guess I’ll have to start buying espresso in bulk.