Happy Valentine’s Day! I wish you happiness on this love-fest of a day, which I detested in college because the parade of flowers always went to the other girls, but never to me or my close friends. Of course I was jealous! Who doesn’t want someone who you’re crazy about to love you back and lavish you with gifts?
I’d like to say I’m much more mature now and so happy for those people who are loved by someone they love as much or more. But, as you know, I’m not that mature. I don’t envy as much as marvel at their luck now. It’s ridiculously difficult to find that kind of love, unless you get very lucky. I tried the self-torture of dating websites years ago. I am apparently particularly attractive to men who ride Harleys and look like bar-fight could be their middle name. Who knew I had that kind of allure?
Having been married, divorced and borne witness to many marriages, I’m happy now. (But I still have a weakness for anyone who can make me laugh.) I just had dinner last night with a friend who is also single and very content. We’ve finally learned to love ourselves enough not to put up with poor treatment. Saying I love you, buying flowers or candy, that’s easy stuff. It looks like love, but it’s just a token of love.
Being there everyday, with kindness, compassion, tolerance, acceptance and a willingness to work at the relationship and say I’m sorry – those are the real signs of love. I wrote a blog called, What Love Looks Like, about my parents marriage years ago, and that looked like love to me.
My favorite quote about love is from a movie shot in Pittsburgh called, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It’s from a book of the same name, written by Stephen Chbosky. It goes, “You accept the love you think you deserve.” The movie was OK, the book was probably better, but that one line stuck with me because of its truth.
There’s an essay in Simple Psychology that explains the quote, but I don’t think it needs much explanation. It starts with loving yourself. Love yourself enough and you’ll seek out someone who will treat you like you know you were meant to be treated. You’ll know it when you feel it. Kind of like the force. Trust your gut. And then go after it. It’s the one piece of advice I always give to young people crazy enough to ask me for guidance.
Happy Valentine’s Day. If you want to gift something that will make anyone fall madly in love with you, bake these Danish Pastry puffs. They are a recipe from a while back. It came from a neighbor of my brother, Martha May. Her recipe ended up in Bernie’s old column, “Top Fork.” These pastry puffs are still killer good!
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Danish Pastry Puffs
Mix together the crust ingredients, butter, flour and water, and spread it into two rectangles about 4 1/2" x 10 or 11" (or 2 large hearts) on an ungreased cookie sheet. (It'll be sticky, but with some patience, you can spread it.)
For the topping, put 1/2 cup butter and 1 cup of water in a medium size sauce pan and bring it to a boil so butter melts. Add 1 tsp. of almond extract and 1 tsp. vanilla. Then remove from heat and add 1 cup flour immediately. Beat by hand until smooth, then beat in three eggs, one at a time until smooth. Spread on top of crusts leaving about a quarter of an inch around the edges and bake at 350 degrees for 45 to 50 minutes or until golden brown. Let cool.
Melt the butter and add the powdered sugar. Add the vanilla, whipping cream, and salt, to taste. Mix until very smooth. You might need a bit more whipping cream...icing should be soft enough that it drips over the edges of the puffs. Pour over the cooled puff and sprinkle with your choice of nuts. I use sliced almonds, but chopped walnuts work too.