Wait, WHO is this again?

I went for a walk last night around 10, to wind down and walk off the two cookies I cracked and ate today. It was eerily quiet. Lights were on in houses, I heard laughter coming from one. But it felt like everyone was just waiting.

I imagine this is what it must have been like during World War II. People just waited at home for dreadful news to come. Every night I watch the news and wait for the crush of sick people to crowd our hospitals like in New York. And I pray that my family is safe.

I pray that my kids and those cute little grandkids who call me Franma are OK. Worst part is, every time I pray I imagine a deep rumbling voice saying, “Wait…WHO is this again?

I pray that my 90 year old Uncle is safe. He was out for a walk along the river a few days ago, when he ran into a man — I assume he knew — who offered him a free bag of tomatoes. It’s like luring a child with candy. No grown Italian man can resist a free bag of tomatoes, so of course he took them home and made sauce with them. I’m sure he didn’t disinfect the bag, so we just have to hope he is OK.

I pray that my sister is safe every day because she’s working in retail. I pray my brother, who just HAD to run out and get bottles for his wine didn’t run into anyone who was sick because he would take down my sister-in-law too. I pray for my cousin’s wife who works at a hospital and said someone went in and lied about not having Covid 19.

And I pray for my other brother who just HAD to go out golfing, even though he knows he shouldn’t, because who knows if the other golfers are sick or well? And he’d take down his diabetic wife too! I pray for my family in Italy, and all my nephews and their kids. I pray for my friends who are all doing the right things, but I worry anyway.

Everything I touch, I think, could it be here? This is like one of those bad horror movies where you hold your breath because you never know which corner the crazed killer is going to jump from.

It’s weird to wait for sickness to waltz in like an unwanted guest.

And just a week ago, I was feeling pretty confident. Then I got furloughed from my job, which left me feeling a little less confident. Then I watched a video made by a doctor about how you have to wipe everything you bring into your home, which I didn’t do before. Lost a little more confidence there.

And last night as I walked, with the stars glittering, and the moon just hanging there watching as the world waits, a little more confidence was eclipsed by worry. I hope I’m worrying for nothing. I hope we all are.