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Random Thoughts

2020 – It’s all About Waiting

September 16, 2020

I think I might finally be getting the hang of this year – it’s all about waiting.

We waited to see what Covid would bring. Then we waited to see if our jobs would come back. Then we waited to see if the protests would really bring about change. We continued waiting to see what Covid would bring after Memorial Day, the Fourth of July and Labor Day. We wait in the hope that our kids and grandkids will be OK at school. Some of us are still waiting to see if our jobs will come back.

And now we, in the west, wait to see if the smoke that hangs like a dirty, yellow fog over our neighborhoods will explode into fire that takes everything we own. Next we wait to see what madness the election will bring. Then we wait to see how this aberration called 2020 will end.

I hate waiting.

I’ve never been terribly patient with life, but this year has forced me to slow down, and finally focus on what I really want, and put serious effort into making it happen.

So, in some ways Covid has actually been good for me, but I know I’m one of the lucky ones. I’ve had good health and unemployment to help me through, so it hasn’t been scary. I’ve had time to miss my kids, grandkids, nieces, nephews, great nieces and nephews, my family, the hugs, the kisses, and great meals that never got shared.

2020 has put a laser focus on what’s really important. And it’s not about the trappings of life. It’s not how clean my house is or how it’s decorated, what new clothes I have, who I’m dating, or where I’m vacationing.

Covid pushed me to be alone with myself so long, I was actually forced to confront who I am and consider what I really want. And nothing magnifies how short life can be like a pandemic, so there was a reason to self examine without the usual distractions of shopping, cleaning, or holiday decorating and cooking.

Someone home at a piano as I walked past.

My nightly walk through my neighborhood became something I really looked forward to. I focused on the comforting chirp of crickets and my sneakers hitting the blacktopped pavement while I looked up at my old friend, the Big Dipper hanging in the sky. Then I came home to my nightly numbing of Netflix, followed by another day.

Every day was the same, reminding me every day will always be the same unless I do something to change it. So writers like me wrote, musicians played, inventors created and dreams moved forward. It’ll be interesting to see what gets birthed next year because of Covid.

It started with waiting but it ends with doing.

  • Reply
    Q-Ti Pie
    September 21, 2020 at 5:31 am

    Good points, Franzie, and I’ve been doing too. Keeping yourself busy really is the key. Time to think, do and pray that things work out better. It’s all in God’s hands.

  • Reply
    Burse
    September 16, 2020 at 1:56 pm

    Thank you for putting your words and feeling to paper or should I say digital screen. You always seem to be able to express your own feelings perfectly. But also the feelings of many others who either can’t or won’t share their true feelings at a time like this. This certainly is an unusual and unique time we all are going through. But we are’t alone even though it sure feels like it at times. Again “Thank you”.

    • Reply
      Fran Tunno
      September 17, 2020 at 9:12 am

      You’re welcome Burse. I’m trying to just muck through each day and push toward my goals – so I’ve been terrible at connecting. Pardon me. I still have a plastic container to return to you!

  • Reply
    Bruce Barker
    September 16, 2020 at 9:00 am

    True dat, Fran. As a woman dear to my heart has commented: right now it feels like every day is just Day. Friday looks an awful lot like Tuesday, Sunday is masquerading as Wednesday. It’s up to us to bust out and DO, while we can.

    • Reply
      Fran Tunno
      September 16, 2020 at 11:01 am

      I have no doubt you will do just that, you always do Brucie! It is rather hellish though. I have a book to revise, so at least I’ll be busy while going insane. Miss you. Give yourself and the wife a big hug from me. Happy….um…Day!

  • Reply
    Chas Madonio
    September 16, 2020 at 7:54 am

    I hear you Frannie. This pandemic has caused us all to reinvent ourselves. During the early part of the shutdown, we started going for Sunday rides, just like we did when I was a little kid, We started visiting college campuses in Ohio and western PA and visited nearly a dozen deserted schools. It reminded me of the scene from from On the Beach, the book and movie about the sailor going back to his hometown of San Francisco after the nuclear war when everyone was dead but everything was still the same. What worries me about Covid is how long will it be around (and no, it’s not just going to magically disappear). I’m getting up in years, meaning I only have a limited supply of time, and I just lost one of my remaining years. Saturday is my favorite day of the week, and if I live 10 more years, which would make me 86, I only have 520 Saturday’s left. I’ve lost 27 Saturdays since the shutdown. I can’t afford to lose too many more. OK, I’ve rambled long enough – stay safe, keep writing and keep your chin up.

    • Reply
      Fran Tunno
      September 16, 2020 at 11:00 am

      Oh Chas, I don’t even want to think about how many more Saturdays you have, but it does put a fine point on it. That’s probably why people are making bad decisions and getting together when they shouldn’t. Maybe you can pull out the guitar and write a song about this. Thanks so much for taking the time to always read and respond. I want you around for many, many, many more Saturdays.

  • Reply
    Monica
    September 16, 2020 at 3:40 am

    So true, Fran! This is a very inspiring post and you are so right about the pandemic magnifying how short life is. A lot of good things will come out of this insanity, but in the meantime, as Tom Petty said, “The waiting is the hardest part.”

    • Reply
      Fran Tunno
      September 16, 2020 at 10:57 am

      No kidding Monica, and I am the worst at waiting. I needed pizza, wings, a Moscow Mule, and another viewing of Pride and Prejudice to get me through it last night. Feeling better today. Good thing too. Too many nights like that and I’d weigh 500 lbs!

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