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Salads Vegetarian

Doggie Diapers and Cilantro Lime Salad Dressing

February 12, 2021
Oh the indignity.

I may be the only person able to combine those two items in one blog post. (Maybe this is why I’ve never won Food Blogger of the Year.) But, such is my life nowadays.

Yesterday I found myself Googling doggie diapers. (Yes, life is riveting.) Topper is now 14 going on 15 and every so often I come down in the morning to find his bed not quite as fresh as it could be. (Reminds me of those old Summer’s Eve commercials with a woman’s sweet voice asking, “Do you sometimes not feel as fresh as you’d like?”) God, I hated those.

One of my daughter’s childhood friends, Casiana, has a dog about Topper’s age, and apparently Shirley, the dog, wears a diaper. I’d never heard of this, so I Googled it. It’s true, and they sell them in a variety of colors, so I found myself measuring Topper’s middle today. He looked at me, rather offended, but put up with it because I feed him and he knows he’s screwed without me.

Do I look fat?

He has a 21 inch waist, something I’d be thrilled with, but it puts him one inch out of the medium size. I’m hoping he fits anyway. These are not disposable, they’re diapers he can wear and I can wash over and over again because I need one more mundane task in my life and didn’t want to put anything more into landfills. So, it’s come to this.

Et tu Topper?

So, after checking out the diapers and checking my email for the eight thousandth time to see if anyone wants to hire me, I somehow came across a recipe for my favorite Cilantro Lime salad dressing because my mind wanders at warp speed. (See? there’s that smooth dog diaper to food transition!) I used to always get it at El Pollo Loco, but since I haven’t been there, or anywhere, for almost a year, I thought I’d try making some myself.

I hate when people post that something is THE recipe for the thing you want to make, then you make it and think, This isn’t what it tastes like! So, undaunted, I kept adding more of the secret ingredient, cilantro, until it looked and tasted close to right.

Since I’ve been in comfort food mode, my scale has been snickering as I walk past. I figure a few days of spinach salads with a little Creamy Cilantro dressing and maybe I’ll get up the nerve to put a toe on it. Even though it’s not a low cal dressing, it’s really good, and anything that makes you want to eat salad instead of a giant steak, is a very good thing.

Now, if I can just get a deal on doggie diapers, I’ll be set. Food Blogger of the Year, eat your heart out.

Creamy Cilantro Lime Dressing – like El Pollo Loco’s

Yields1 Serving

 1 cup chopped cilantro
 1 cup mayonnaise
  cup milk
 4 tsp lime juice
 1 tsp white vinegar
 1 tsp granulated sugar
 1 tsp minced garlic
 ½ tsp salt
 1 tsp Crystal Hot Sauce
  tsp black pepper
 ¼ tsp cumin

1

Rinse the cilantro and dry it, remove the leaves and chop them finely. Place the chopped cilantro, the mayonnaise, milk, lime juice, white vinegar, sugar, garlic, salt, hot sauce, pepper and cumin in a food processor. Process until well mixed.

Ingredients

 1 cup chopped cilantro
 1 cup mayonnaise
  cup milk
 4 tsp lime juice
 1 tsp white vinegar
 1 tsp granulated sugar
 1 tsp minced garlic
 ½ tsp salt
 1 tsp Crystal Hot Sauce
  tsp black pepper
 ¼ tsp cumin

Directions

1

Rinse the cilantro and dry it, remove the leaves and chop them finely. Place the chopped cilantro, the mayonnaise, milk, lime juice, white vinegar, sugar, garlic, salt, hot sauce, pepper and cumin in a food processor. Process until well mixed.

Creamy Cilantro Lime Dressing – like El Pollo Loco’s
  • Reply
    Theresa
    February 12, 2021 at 7:44 am

    LOL! Ok, not a fan of cilantro. I’m one of those people that tastes soap when I eat it. I would substitute fresh tarragon or parsley. I used to have a 21 inch waste in high school. I hated those summer’s eve commercials too! Poor Topper. I hope he will wear his diaper with dignity. Thanks for the giggle.

    • Reply
      Fran Tunno
      February 12, 2021 at 3:31 pm

      I get it with the cilantro. Thank God I don’t have that problem. I’ll bet parsley would be really good, or tarragon too. Try it and let me know. Wow, 21!!!!! I’m impressed. The smallest my waist ever was was 25. Ain’t no going back now! Thanks for always reading and taking the time to comment! xoxox

  • Reply
    Chas Madonio
    February 12, 2021 at 7:43 am

    Hey Fran,
    Regarding doggy diapers, our dog Stanley had an incontinence problem after turning 16, so we tried the diapers. They didn’t work very well – they never fit right. So we bought a “sling” that you lined with feminine napkins and it had velcro straps. It worked pretty well and he lived to be 17 1/2. But I must admit, I never thought I would be shopping for feminine hygiene products at my age. It got me a lot of funny looks at the grocery store check out.

    • Reply
      Fran Tunno
      February 12, 2021 at 3:29 pm

      Chas, you always make me laugh, thank you for that. I’m sure Stanley had a great life with you guys. The thing I’m looking at is like a wide band that goes around his waist. I think it would do the trick. They were out of stock in the cool colors, but Topper won’t care, so I’m ordering them! Thanks for always reading! Happy Fat Tuesday!!! xo

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