Watching Ted Lasso, last fall, I could not shake the image of Ted’s boss sensually biting into the biscuits Ted brought her each morning. The look of satisfied, dare I say, orgasmic pleasure on her face was something I would love to see on my face fairly frequently.
As you may recall, I recommended Ted Lasso to you because it renews ones faith in humans, and let’s face it, humankind can use all the help it can get. My friend Howie watched it and loved it. She also found a website where you can order biscuits called Ted Lasso Biscuits with the Boss from a company called MacKenzieLtd.com. So, being the sweet person she is, she sent me some. She is one of those people who renews my faith in humans. The cookies she sent are very tasty and inspired me.
Me being me, I wondered if I could find a recipe online that might duplicate Ted’s cookies, so I could eat them without having to pay for them, experience that enviable look of pleasure, and share the recipe with you.
I found a few. But this one from Jessica Gavin looked the most like Ted’s, seemed easy and turned out delicious. There was another site called Go Bold with Butter, which had some good shortbread tips and gets the prize for the most in-your-face butter-loving title. Take that, heart surgeons of America!
The first time I made them I forgot to chill them before baking, which apparently is a must. They were still irresistible to me, but I wanted to see what would happen if I actually…duh, followed the recipe correctly. I didn’t think they could be better, but since I am a novice at shortbread, I had no idea.
On my second bake, the aroma was as heavenly as the first. I remember having a shortbread cookie once that had one end dipped in vanilla frosting and sprinkled with walnuts. It was so good I would have run away with the whole plate if the caterer wasn’t standing guard over them.
These bars have a different texture than shortbread cookies because they aren’t rolled out, but patted into a pan. Also, I had to use aluminum foil instead of parchment paper because it was all I had, so that may have affected them. And now, I know I pressed down on them too hard because I wanted them to look perfect like Ted’s.
The second batch WAS chilled before baking and I didn’t notice a difference between them and the first batch that wasn’t chilled. Maybe my mere two percent Irish DNA (according to Ancestry) just isn’t enough to make me a discerning pastry chef when it comes to Anglo Saxon (Scottish) delights.
But, SUCCESS! My third batch came out perfect! And they are delicious! I did not press them down as hard and made sure to refrigerate them for 30 minutes before baking them. Not pressing down as hard was the key. I also used parchment paper, but I don’t think that made any difference at all. Here is my pic of the winning batch!
I haven’t decided which I love more, the pan version or the rolled out cookie version because not enough testing has been done. I am sure that with a couple more batches and two more pant sizes I will know. But if you want that look of smug satisfaction/orgasmic delight, I recommend these bars wholeheartedly.
These are really easy to make and are halfway between a cake and a cookie. Trust me, you will love them. If you store them in the refrigerator to store them, zap them in the microwave for about 12 seconds before snarfing them down. They are great dipped in coffee or tea or just plain. I sprinkled mine with a light breeze of salt and a sprinkle of sugar. Please report back to me on whether you experience a state of ecstasy or not. Or maybe I’ll just hear your moans from here.
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Biscuits like Ted Lasso’s
Preheat the oven to 325 and move the rack to the middle of the oven. Line an 8 x 8 baking pan with parchment paper with an extra inch on the edges so you can grab the parchment and pull the cookies out of the pan.
Using an electric mixer with a paddle attachment, mix the butter, sugar, vanilla, and salt on low speed to combine it. Then increase the speed to medium. Mix until it's light and creamy, about two minutes. Scrape down the sides of the bowl.
Add the flour and mix on low until a crumbly dough is formed. Do not overmix.
Pour the crumbly dough into the prepared baking pan. Lightly press it down until it evenly fills the pan. Don't press too hard, just enough to make sure it holds together.
Cover and refrigerate for 30 minutes or cover and freeze for 15 minutes. (The dough can be refrigerated for up to 2 days before baking.)
Using a fork, lightly prick the surface of the chilled dough, about 36 times, evenly spaced. Bake until the edges are a light golden brown, about 30 to 35 minutes.
Remove the cookies from the oven. Sprinkle them very lightly with salt, then with about a half teaspoon of sugar.
Cool the pan on a wire rack for five to ten minutes. Then use a sharp knife to cut the shortbread into rectangles. Makes 18 biscuits. Re-slice if you need to.
Store in a cool space in an airtight container. Freeze up to 2 months.
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