Happy Valentine’s Day! I wish you happiness on this love-fest of a day, which I detested in college because the parade of flowers always went to the other girls, but never to me or my close friends. Of course I was jealous! Who doesn’t want someone who you’re crazy about to love you back and lavish you with gifts?
I’d like to say I’m much more mature now and so happy for those people who are loved by someone they love as much or more. But, as you know, I’m not that mature. I don’t envy as much as marvel at their luck now. It’s ridiculously difficult to find that kind of love, unless you get very lucky. I tried the self-torture of dating websites years ago. I am apparently particularly attractive to men who ride Harleys and look like bar-fight could be their middle name. Who knew I had that kind of allure?
Having been married, divorced and borne witness to many marriages, I’m happy now. (But I still have a weakness for anyone who can make me laugh.) I just had dinner last night with a friend who is also single and very content. We’ve finally learned to love ourselves enough not to put up with poor treatment. Saying I love you, buying flowers or candy, that’s easy stuff. It looks like love, but it’s just a token of love.
Being there everyday, with kindness, compassion, tolerance, acceptance and a willingness to work at the relationship and say I’m sorry – those are the real signs of love. I wrote a blog called, What Love Looks Like, about my parents marriage years ago, and that looked like love to me.
My favorite quote about love is from a movie shot in Pittsburgh called, The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It’s from a book of the same name, written by Stephen Chbosky. It goes, “You accept the love you think you deserve.” The movie was OK, the book was probably better, but that one line stuck with me because of its truth.
There’s an essay in Simple Psychology that explains the quote, but I don’t think it needs much explanation. It starts with loving yourself. Love yourself enough and you’ll seek out someone who will treat you like you know you were meant to be treated. You’ll know it when you feel it. Kind of like the force. Trust your gut. And then go after it. It’s the one piece of advice I always give to young people crazy enough to ask me for guidance.
Happy Valentine’s Day. If you want to gift something that will make anyone fall madly in love with you, bake these Danish Pastry puffs. They are a recipe from a while back. It came from a neighbor of my brother, Martha May. Her recipe ended up in Bernie’s old column, “Top Fork.” These pastry puffs are still killer good!
As always (and definitely not mandatory) if you enjoy this blog and the recipes and would like to be a supporter so I can stay caffeinated enough to continue turning out blogs another ten years, just click on buymeacoffee.com/FranTunno
Danish Pastry Puffs
Mix together the crust ingredients, butter, flour and water, and spread it into two rectangles about 4 1/2" x 10 or 11" (or 2 large hearts) on an ungreased cookie sheet. (It'll be sticky, but with some patience, you can spread it.)
For the topping, put 1/2 cup butter and 1 cup of water in a medium size sauce pan and bring it to a boil so butter melts. Add 1 tsp. of almond extract and 1 tsp. vanilla. Then remove from heat and add 1 cup flour immediately. Beat by hand until smooth, then beat in three eggs, one at a time until smooth. Spread on top of crusts leaving about a quarter of an inch around the edges and bake at 350 degrees for 45 to 50 minutes or until golden brown. Let cool.
Melt the butter and add the powdered sugar. Add the vanilla, whipping cream, and salt, to taste. Mix until very smooth. You might need a bit more whipping cream...icing should be soft enough that it drips over the edges of the puffs. Pour over the cooled puff and sprinkle with your choice of nuts. I use sliced almonds, but chopped walnuts work too.
8 Comments
Allegra
February 15, 2025 at 10:27 pmLove this and love you – mean it! My best VD memories are with my family. My mom used to set these elaborate tables and my dad’s one job was to get us all See’s candy in the heart shaped box. I continued the tradition but Made my famous turkey meatloaf in heart shaped tins. My grown kid is carrying on the tradition now 😍 for me VD has never been about anyone other than love for our kids. And those little candy hearts.
Fran Tunno
February 17, 2025 at 2:11 pmAwwww, you are such a great mom! Always have been so caring and such a wonderful example! I love the Turkey Meatloaf in the tins. I, of course, use that recipe and have blogged about it here. One of my very favorites! Thanks for reading and taking the time to write Allegra. Now come visit me in da Burgh!
matilda novak
February 14, 2025 at 11:15 pmJust finished reading this, and then had to read the one about your folks “What Love Looks Like”. i just Love the way you write! And the photo of your Mama is Beautiful! (in keeping with your words).
Thanks for doing what you do….
Fran Tunno
February 15, 2025 at 9:12 amThank you so much Matilda. And thanks for reading that other post about my parents. They were not Romeo and Juliet, but it was definitely love. It even surprised me how much my dad missed Mom when she was gone. Thanks for always reading and taking the time to write! You always make me feel so good. xoxo
Julia Shure
February 14, 2025 at 8:01 pmHappy Valentine’s Day, Fran! So funny about your online dating experience. I was attracted to the bad boys in high school and, luckily, it was not reciprocal and I ended up with a good guy.
Fran Tunno
February 15, 2025 at 9:10 amOh Julia, I was attracted to a boy in high school, who was apparently so questionable, that one of the teachers pulled me aside and said , “Stay away from that guy, he is bad news.” We only lasted a couple of weeks because I was never allowed to do anything. He soon went back to the easier girls. How funny we both went in that direction, no wonder we connected. You have a fabulous husband in Marc, he is wonderful. Hope your VD was great! xo
Susan Spencer
February 14, 2025 at 3:42 pmI would just like to say….sometimes you have the right person, but they may be a little broken…counseling is a great benefit, if you’re willing to do the work, and work together…Amen! (married 1989…)
Fran Tunno
February 15, 2025 at 9:07 amThank you Susan for reading and taking the time to write! You are so right! The important part is being wiling to do the work and work together in a spirit of love. I am so happy for you that you found someone willing to do that work. I’m betting you had a wonderful Valentine’s Day.