I Just Had a Wonderful Conversation with Conan O’Brien…I Was Naked

I was in my bathroom, naked when the phone rang. I was in disbelief when he said who he was. Conan was lovely, telling me how much he enjoyed my book and wanted to have me on his podcast, Conan O Brien Needs a Friend. We chatted for about five minutes, then he said he’d have someone get back to me to schedule.

To all my followers in the throes of cardiac arrest with eyes bulging out in disbelief, OK…OK. Yes, I imagined the entire thing, beginning to end, even my own awkward pauses. I have an extremely fertile imagination. Sorry if you end up in the hospital over this cheap, transparent attempt to get eyes on my blog and book, Come On Down! A Little Story About My Italian Mom’s Big Dream.

I imagine things like this because I stand firmly by my belief that if you don’t imagine great things for yourself, nothing ever happens. I think you have to be a complete lunatic optimist to try to do anything in this world…especially self-publish a book.

Trying to get a self-published author noticed by any big book club, be it Oprah’s, Jenna Hager Bush’s, Reese Witherspoon’s…is pretty dang tough if not impossible. They have agents with big name, big money publishers behind them and they will always come first in capitalist America, or so it seems.

But capitalist America also leaves a teeny, weeny, tiny…OK…microscopic space for blind optimists who never give up on their dreams of being considered a successful author and having an actual conversation with Conan, or Steven Colbert or Jimmy Kimmel. Hey, it could happen! Yes, the chances are those of an ice cube’s in hell, but still, there is a chance.

So, yes, I did speak with Conan today. I’ll be taking Steven’s call tomorrow, then maybe Jimmy’s, and I really look forward to talking to Terry Gross and Scott Simon on NPR. I think Dave Barry might even finally consider writing a blurb for my book. I’m going to be very busy in the bathroom for the next week, so don’t call between 8 and 9 am. You’ll never get through.

Of course