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Sometimes I Get Really Tired of Being Good

January 21, 2016

I went to the gym tonight, like I try to do at least three or four times a week. Somewhere around the 300 calorie mark, I said, “The hell with this, I’m done.” Usually I read a book while I’m on the elliptical, so I stick around to burn 500, sometimes 600 calories, then wipe the sweat and go for a couple rounds in the circuit room.

Tonight, I just said, screw it. Know what I did? I went home, picked up a book I was reading and ate at least three cups of leftover Organic Barbeque Kettle chips because I was in the mood for something crunchy. Hey, at least they were organic.

Metamorphosis - Kafka CroppedThe book was called “Metamorphosis,” by Franz Kafka.  I’m embarrassed to say, I’ve never read anything by Kafka in my life, but when I saw it on the shelf at my friend, Allegra (the smart librarian’s) house, I asked if I could borrow it. Not so I could be deep, but because I wanted to get the jokes that Woody Allen always makes in his movies. I wanted to understand what made something Kafka-esque.

I loved it. It’s about a young man, named Gregor, who sacrifices everything for his family. He works as a traveling salesman, a job he hates, to pay off a debt his parents owe, which he figures will take another five to six years. He also hopes to send his teenage sister to a conservatory so she can continue to study the violin.

He’s a real giver.

Things don’t work out so great and one morning, he wakes up to find he’s turned into a big, ugly bug with spindly legs. (I have mornings like that.) His family naturally freaks out. Sadly, he’s the same guy inside, but his communication skills are not great, and now that he’s a bug and can’t work to support them anymore, so they don’t have much use for him.

There are all kinds of parallels you can draw and metaphors you can imagine. That’s apparently part of Kafka’s charm, he never lets on what he wants you to think, he wants you to draw your own conclusion.

All I could think of are a couple of poor, self-sacrificing souls I know, who worked hard all their lives, giving to everyone; one of whom is mostly ignored now, and the other one probably will be when he gets older.

Which is maybe why tonight, before I even knew how the book was going to end  — and trust me, it isn’t pretty — I decided to just say,  screw it.

Chips edited

There are actually a few crumbs left in here.

I’m good 95 percent of the time. I work, I cook, I clean, I bake, I exercise, I eat vegetables and fruit, I’m thoughtful, I give to charities, and dammit, I could wake up a bug tomorrow. So tonight, I’m glad I sat on the couch, read a book and ate too many barbecued potato chips.

I’m sure this probably isn’t the response Kafka was hoping for, but it works for me.

 

  • Reply
    Mary
    January 23, 2016 at 5:00 pm

    No one says you can’t be bad sometime, as long as the scale doesn’t register it, . . .LOL. Just don’t let it catch up with you. I’m all too familiar with that, then I pay for it & it’s back down the diet trail. 🙁 Fran. Kettle chips ARE yummy though!

    • Reply
      Fran Tunno
      January 25, 2016 at 9:47 am

      I know, I think the chips have helped put back on a couple of pounds I thought I lost. C’est la vie. It was worth it though.

  • Reply
    btunno@bernietunnoins.com
    January 23, 2016 at 5:41 am

    That blog bugged me! Nice job!

    From: At Frans Table To: btunno@bernietunnoins.com Sent: Friday, January 22, 2016 2:59 AM Subject: [New post] Sometimes I Get Really Tired of Being Good #yiv6228459688 a:hover {color:red;}#yiv6228459688 a {text-decoration:none;color:#0088cc;}#yiv6228459688 a.yiv6228459688primaryactionlink:link, #yiv6228459688 a.yiv6228459688primaryactionlink:visited {background-color:#2585B2;color:#fff;}#yiv6228459688 a.yiv6228459688primaryactionlink:hover, #yiv6228459688 a.yiv6228459688primaryactionlink:active {background-color:#11729E;color:#fff;}#yiv6228459688 WordPress.com | Fran Tunno posted: “I went to the gym tonight, like I try to do at least three or four times a week. Somewhere around the 300 calorie mark, I decided I was done. Usually I read a book while I’m on the elliptical, so I stick around to burn 500, sometimes 600 calories, then wi” | |

    • Reply
      Fran Tunno
      January 25, 2016 at 9:46 am

      Thanks Bern! I guess it’s back to our semi annual competition to see who can lose the most weight. I just realized I never paid you the last time you beat me. Damn!

  • Reply
    Chuck
    January 22, 2016 at 5:42 pm

    You’d wake up a butterfly.

    • Reply
      Fran Tunno
      January 25, 2016 at 9:45 am

      Awwww, Chuck. You do know how to turn a girls head.

  • Reply
    allegraswift
    January 22, 2016 at 3:45 pm

    Francie, So glad you liked it and that is exactly what Kafka meant, down to the last chip. Now you need to read Kafka’s “The Trial.” You’ll never think of a DMV trip the same after that.
    xo,
    Smallegra

    • Reply
      Fran Tunno
      January 25, 2016 at 9:43 am

      Ok, I’ll bring Metamorphosis back and make sure I get “The Trial, next. Woody Allen will be a cinch now! Thank God I have well read friends!

  • Reply
    margaz2013
    January 22, 2016 at 11:49 am

    As always, you bring a smile to my face! I love your humor!!!
    Marianne

    • Reply
      Fran Tunno
      January 25, 2016 at 9:42 am

      Well Marianne, I’m glad someone out there gets me! Thanks for always reading and forgiving me my chip weakness. xoxo

  • Reply
    lafriday
    January 22, 2016 at 11:40 am

    I read Metamorphosis in high school. Perhaps that is why I had to join Weight Watcher’s this week. Food for thought (pun intended). XOX

    • Reply
      Fran Tunno
      January 25, 2016 at 9:40 am

      Linda, you went there. I love a good cheap laugh, usually it’s me going for it, so I appreciate you stepping up to the plate (different plate) pun intended. I wish I had gone to your high school. We didn’t get into Kafka back then. Thanks for reading and taking the time to offer a punny comment.

  • Reply
    Chas Madonio
    January 22, 2016 at 7:42 am

    Thanks for the info on Kafka. You’ve saved me a lot of time since I don’t have to read the book now, but I still don’t get many of Woody Allen’s references. Are you sure his reference to a “roach” isn’t a double entendre? Oh well, as always, I enjoyed your blog.

    • Reply
      Fran Tunno
      January 25, 2016 at 9:37 am

      You know Chas, I’m not sure. He never explains what kind of bug it is, sort of a cross between a beetle, a roach and a spider. At any rate, I do love Woody Allen’s thought process, even if he is light years ahead of me academically. Thanks for always reading — you rock. xoxox

  • Reply
    Nicol
    January 22, 2016 at 6:17 am

    Fran, you are magnificent! I love all of your discoveries!

    • Reply
      Fran Tunno
      January 25, 2016 at 9:35 am

      No, you’re magnificent! Thanks my little Italian sister. Coffee soon!

  • Reply
    Bob Erbeck
    January 22, 2016 at 12:50 am

    That sounds like a plan! I usually do most of my reading on my iPad when I get to bed. Thank goodness I have a reading stand which holds the iPad, or I’d fall asleep while trying to hold the heavy tablet and wake up with a broken nose.

    Have you ever gone to the Brand Library in Glendale? They’ve got some nice, big, comfortable chairs in which to curl up in while reading. I’m not sure they’d allow your potato chips . . . you know how libraries like to keep it quiet. Shhhh!

    Okay, off to my iPad stand. Have a good weekend.

    Bob

    • Reply
      Fran Tunno
      January 25, 2016 at 9:33 am

      Good tip Bob, I should go to the Brand Library. It’s beautiful. Thanks, as always for reading and taking the time to comment. enjoy your books and stay awake!

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