Judging Others — What’s That Say About Me?

I admit it, I am a judging judger.

I try not to judge people, but there are people who you instantly click with and people you don’t.  Some people I instantly make decisions about, based on what they wear, how they speak, how many nose rings, tattoos or piercings they have, or what their political party is.  It’s not good.

I never thought about it much, until I watched a video called, What Judging Others Says about Yourself on Well Being Trust website. Click on the link and scroll down and you’ll see the video. It’s 9:43 seconds long, but worth it.

Well Being Trust is a national foundation dedicated to advancing the mental, social and spiritual health of the nation.  I write commercials for them at my job, and today I took the time to watch this video, put out by one of their self love and wellness advocates, Sarah Sapora. It was one of those moments where I felt as though someone just slapped me into snapping out of it, like Loretta did to Ronny Cammareri in Moonstruck  If you watch the clip at 1:09, you’ll see the infamous slap. God, I still love that movie!

Us, during our college years. She is on the left, I am the smart ass on the right trying to make her uncomfortable.

It made me think of my wonderful friend, Carolyn Riley, one of the kindest, least judgmental people I know.  When we were in high school, I was always amazed that everyone who talked about Carolyn, would say she was their best friend. This totally stunned me because I knew I was her best friend!

But what people responded to was being treated kindly, being listened to, and not being judged. Cool, or dorky, skinny or fat, popular or not popular, smart aleck (that would be me) or not,  none of that mattered to her.

She’s organizing our high school reunion this Labor Day weekend, and is still as kind as she always was. She genuinely wants everyone to come and people are responding to her kindness. Every time I’m around her I learn to be a little nicer. If we both live to be 300, maybe I’ll get a little closer to her level, but it’s a lofty goal.

I really took to heart everything in this video and it made me seriously reconsider a lot of the judging I’ve been guilty of over the years, in terms of what it says about me.

Maybe you judge others because you want to feel better about yourself. Or maybe you judge people because you fear you share some of their perceived faults. Thinking about the fact that my judgment reflects as much on me as it does on them was pretty eye-opening.

It’s very Christ-like, this whole non-judgmental thing. Jesus wasn’t in the corner making snarky remarks about the prostitutes and the outcasts, he was right there accepting them, talking to them, treating them as equals, and learning from them. Maybe if enough people hear this message by Sarah Sapora, there’s a chance we could all reach that kind of enlightenment. Wouldn’t that be great?