Women Always Find the Good in Each Other — Garlic helps

Theresa is the first wife of my ex-husband.

Theresa and Fran.JPG

Fran and Theresa the only two members of a very exclusive club.

She rocks.

But for years I didn’t realize that because I was married to my then husband, and his characterizations may not have been completely accurate because pesky emotion was involved.

I should have known better because the son she and my ex had together is absolutely wonderful. You don’t turn out that great if there isn’t someone molding you, and the master molder was Theresa. We only got Brandon a few weekends a month, so we were assistant molders. And I have to say, that my ex was a good dad to Brandon. He loved him completely, Brandon knew it, and that makes a big difference.

But now that my ex is my ex, I’ve had the pleasure of getting to know Theresa much better. It all started around the time I was getting divorced. I had the massive realization that there were going to be stories out there about me that might be one-sided, colored by emotion and, therefore possibly, not completely true.

I realized then, that for decades, I’d only been getting half the story about her and their relationship.  Much of it was factual, but much was colored by emotion, and we all know emotion is a lousy gauge for accuracy. Continue reading

It’s not Christmas or Thanksgiving, But Just as Special

Mom at my shower, thrilled I was finally getting married.

Mom at my shower, thrilled I was finally getting married.

I remember being  the center of attention at the wedding shower my mom, sister, and sisters-in-law, threw for me in 1987. They all fussed and my mom made sure the church hall was decorated with hanging paper bells and pretty table covers.

My mom invited all her friends and relatives and was so proud that I was FINALLY getting married. She was thrilled because, at 32, with one foot practically in the grave, she didn’t think my prospects were promising. Continue reading

Step-kids and Lasagne Sundays

My kids were gone for a mini-family reunion at their dad’s house for the Fourth of July and I missed them, so I wanted to cook something wonderful when they returned. It was Sunday and my Italian soul longed for lasagne. It was just special enough that my devious plan, to get them (including my daughter’s boyfriend)  to stay for a meal, worked. Now that’s success. (See what my mother taught me? You bribe your kids with food.) Continue reading

Craig Ferguson Saved Us

Craig Ferguson has no idea his silliness saved me and my kids from complete insanity. After my 2010 divorce, my two kids, my two hygienically challenged dogs and I, moved in with my elderly dad in western Pennsylvania for a few months until we could buy a house. Continue reading

The Oprah Winfrey of Glendale

I was walking my dog at about 9:30 tonight when I ran into a neighbor with her two dogs. Since we’re dog people we usually exchange mindless pleasantries, try to keep the dogs from killing each other or mating, and move on, but tonight she asked me something that surprised me.

As our dogs happily sniffed each other, she asked how I was doing. I said I was fine and she said, “But you’re divorced right?”  And I said, “Yeah.”

Then she asked me whether I was happy in my apartment and if I wanted to buy a house. And I responded, “Yes, I’d love to buy a house but I can’t afford one right now.” (After all, we are in southern California where you have to either be a movie star or have a successful meth lab to be able to afford anything.)  Then she said, “But aren’t you worried? I mean we’re not young anymore, how will you find someone?”

Continue reading